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About Varied / Hobbyist "Girom" Christian N. CalicaMale/Philippines Recent Activity
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War isn't as awesome as you think it is. It's as painful and as brutal as being circumcised through the use of a cheese grater without any anesthetic (if they're male; otherwise they'd be giving birth to a giant saguaro cactus). But what's awesome about war is the pros it gives to the common individual, since less people mean shorter lines for the movies, the bathroom, and pretty much everything else, and also the 10 o'clock news will show so much brutality and bloodshed that it makes Drive Angry look more like Dora the Explorer in comparison. But what certainly won't help is if you give war some rules, except it'll be safe enough for you to join in and try to decapitate your stupid next door neighbor with a bastard sword. Seriously, the Geneva convention should ban death in general so that it'll turn ISIS into a football club or something, whatever the fuck.

Dog Days is basically that. War has rules, and therefore you're not allowed to kill. Killing someone would be punishable by death, so the executor must be executed as well, and the cycle will repeat until no one else exists in this once-beautiful alternate dimension. Wait, that came out wrong. What Dog Days actually is is that there's this acrobatic dude named "Kitchen Sink" who is half-British half-Japanese, his video gamer friend, his cousin, and a lot of anthropomorphic animals with names that just made me so hungry for pastry all of a sudden... Be right back!

[INTERMISSION]

Alright, just ate a Hansel and am about to sleep, which means that there's another intermission right about... Now.

[INTERMISSION (again, goddammit)]

Just finished masturb- I mean, sleeping. So anyways, Dog Days takes place in two worlds - Earth, the place where a Kitchen Sink and his friends came from (and is barely shown in all three seasons), and some other Earth that I call "Harem Earth" because majority of the girls will fall in love with a Kitchen Sink since it came to their world as "their hero". I'll keep calling him Sink until it gets a laugh, you bastards! When he was about to leave for some place (probably London), a puppy with a dagger casts a pentacle on the ground and they both get sent to another world, where war is considered a sport instead of a solution for religious or political conflicts and thus the winning faction gets two-thirds of the prize and the rest have to share what is left like if you're 22 hours late for your birthday party and almost your entire cake has been consumed by your assholic friends. So anyways, Cinque (I spelled it properly this time!) was sent to this other Earth by a puppy named Millhiore Biscotti and... Dammit, I'm hungry again.

[INTERMISSION (really, dude?)]

ALRIGHT, MOVING ON! And because Cinque was told by everyone to be their new hero, as in their savior during times of last-ditch attempts to win a game, he decided to use his own powers by patting his enemies on the head and turn them into cute, fluffly balls of fur, like Yayan Ruhian in a future The Raid film because of his unusually fast hair growth. So Cinque teams up with Eclair, which was probably the same Eclair I regret buying from 7-11, to beat Leonmitchelli Galette Des Rois, AKA that pie with a crown, except it's a cat that wields a huge battle axe and a corset that barely covers her cleavage, and so they did, but at the cost of Eclair's clothes exploding because it touched Cinque's staff of doom. I don't get why their armor had to instantly degrade violently after getting hit by a very old and frail (and drunk) Irishman with a worn out shillelagh – I think it's basically designed to do that so the Defeat by Modesty trope starts glomping this anime until they both die falling 30 storeys below because they're in an apartment block in Indonesia.

I don't like an anime that tries to be funny by breaking the 4th wall unless it involves some Lovecraftian being that wants to be called "san" despite her ahoge and obvious stupidity and inability to resist the pain of forks. Hell, Tenshi loves pain much more than Jesus Christ or everyone in Kink.com who are currently in the middle of BDSM training, or both. But do the characters in Dog Days feel pain? Since they all have such overpowered super moves that can send giant mountains cartwheeling into Lake Geneva (especially Rolex HQ, because fuck Rolex), everyone should have been obliterated in the very first fight, but NO, their powers cannot kill and thus anything that isn't an animal or a human should turn into burning hot cinders. While it would be fun to actually kill people, it'd be even MORE fun to continually make fun of their weak status by continually gunning them down using a SIG (with a bottomless STANAG magazine) that you bought from another world and reverse-engineered in Gensokyo until they ragequit in frustration as tears roll down their stupid fat faces. So the concept of turning war into some sort of sport is a lot better than legalizing murder during wars, but then again that concept will cause overpopulation and thus lack of food, and lack of food means people will start making cannibalistic cults and it'll become like Doomsday all over again.

The characters are pretty well designed. It's nice to see people create a better medieval time than what it really was, where bathing is illegal according to early Christian laws or where water is crap and therefore beer is the ultimate alternative and thus creating the only kind of heaven my dad would enjoy. Cinque wears a robe that kings would wear and it resembles a retro-futuristic jacket for later Mirror's Edge games, Millhiore wears a corset and a dress with detached sleeves, so there's some armpit points for you there, Leonmitchelli wears a pair of denim shorts and a cape that makes Cesare Borgia jealous, and that one nerdy squirrel only wears a lab coat. I don't know how their technologies work since in the case of the artist making designs for machines, they barely do any scientific research to make it plausible. "But hey, it's just an anime, so who cares?" THE FUCKING MYTHBUSTERS. ALSO, ME. Then again, a world where anthropomorphic puppies, kittens and squirrels fight each other in a medieval war that is a sport could not be explained by science, so they would probably ignore that and instead rely on magic. Hell, they use magic-y science in fight scenes as well!

One thing worth noting is that the story's not too great and not too crap. I haven't finished the first season but finished the second entirely, mainly because I lost the files and can't be asked to download them again (illegally). But, judging with what limited knowledge about the anime I watched, all I can say is that this anime is okay with girls torturing the only few boys and call it "playful teasing", and this is probably the point where a lot of misogynists flood in and praise me as their new prophet, but no. The first few episodes were okay since the animators gave Cinque the chance to actually dodge Eclair's knife slashes once her clothes disintegrated like a malfunctioning Roman Candle, and I find later episodes to be funny, but I'm a little (okay, maybe a lot) pissed off at how Eclair simply can't submit to love and accept the fact that she is obviously cuddling the guy while he sleeps instead of punching him really hard in the abdomen until he ends up like Harry Houdini and keep denying like she believes that the power of denial can change the fabric of reality if you keep objecting hard enough.

Dog Days isn't that much of a great anime, but I do like it only when scenes were funny, but I can't think of reasons to watch it again since I felt kind of bored afterwards, as I can barely find any memorable scenes that are worth watching again. Hell, I think Bonifacio's armory raid scene is slightly more worth watching again even though the dramatic feeling disappears so quickly afterwards. So I'm giving Dog Days a mere 6 and a half shillelaghs out of ten. Watch it once, then forget all about it. Let it slip in and out of your mind like an image of your grandmother during sex. I'll go watch Nagi no Asukara and a bunch of other animes now while eating Oreo since I just ran out of things to review, maybe that Rin route from Katawa Shoujo next.
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: Nightwish
  • Reading: Eclair recipe
  • Watching: Bonifacio: Ang Unang Pangulo
  • Playing: Global Strike
  • Eating: Oreo
  • Drinking: Milk
Christ, my disease returned from the dead and is now haunting me again. But since I'm not the most stubborn man in the planet, I still go to school and will be absent for another day just to play more RŌBLOX- I mean, continue going to school since I got a report to do for Filipino, which means I'll also have to bring this sodding laptop with me. What I want to bring, however, is my Reimu figma, a bunch of army men toys, and my camera, but that will make me look like an autistic in front of my friends if I ever do that, just like last time when I brought a land snail to high school.

So, assuming you have a figma and you want to take care of it while at the same time abusing it with an army of skeletons, but you don't know how. So I'll teach you tips on taking care of your figmas before and after use for stop-motion animation, photography, sex to dioramas, and re-enactions of El Coloso but this time they're Lego people trying to fend off Michael Jackson with fresh fruits and fish.

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3858/14407772701_20935b6f50_b.jpg

1. Make sure you know what the fuck you're doing.


That is, holding a cheap (but expensive, according to my plebeian classmates), yet fragile and majestic, piece of art that has been made by careful handcrafting workers in the sake of making your dreams about having your favorite anime character come true. If not one, then fragile and majestic pieces of art. They're a reward from the Good Smile Company for giving them money that you either worked for or begged your mum several times until she decided to buy it for you, if not spanked in the ass in public. If you carelessly place it on a catapult and launch it into Lake Geneva (or Rolex's boutique windows), then go back to your giant mansion and drown in your solid gold toilet's water made out of 1000 Swiss Franc bills. Cheers for breaking Rolex's windows, though.


http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/stubbietubbie/Blog%20-%20Figma%20068/IMG_6939.jpg

2. Careful when grabbing things like Marisa's teacup.


No, really. There's some really intricate parts in these that would make you think that your Vacheron Constantin's tourbillon is the last thing you'd buy that has parts that are deemed too tiny for a mere mortal to craft. And what that entrails is that the parts may snap and break into separate parts once enough force has been applied. My Reimu and Marisa figmas are basically second-hand, so Reimu's sake cup has been detached from her hand despite never being used according to the seller that I found from OLX. But then again don't worry TOO much, since they're made of ABS and PVC, which is the same tough plastic you'd find from your Lego toys and industrial piping.


http://orig03.deviantart.net/1b3c/f/2015/157/3/4/aya_shameimaru__in_dillon_beach_by_bezefang-d8w9oxv.jpg

3. When taking photos outside, don't let them bathe in sunlight for too long.


Remember when I said that ABS and PVC are very tough plastics? Well, they degrade under sunlight. ABS is damaged by sunlight and one time a lot of vehicles used ABS for seat belts, and had to be recalled when they start breaking just like my Fairy Cake that I used to eat until mold started growing inside my mouth. I would suggest taking night photos instead, but if getting them dirty makes you the fussiest person on the planet, here's one way to clean them up...


https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2924/14575417192_a286686868_b.jpg

4. Do NOT use water or any sort of chemicals that may damage the figma or its colors.


I know, the picture's a nendoroid, but who fucking cares? Water will destroy ANYTHING, even stone cannonballs that are left in the open for 300 years, and using unknown chemicals might screw up the paint, especially if they're acidic. I would suggest using a piece of dry cotton or a magnetic brush to clean it from dust, because water will obviously remove the paint. One time I used a slightly wet cloth to clean my figmas up after I bought it and it almost removed the paintwork. Figmas are painted and stuck with decals [citation needed] and they may start slowly coming off every single damn time you clean it.

Right, that will do. Now I need to run to JRU from Pasig to Mandaluyong with a piece of toast on my mouth.

[INTERMISSION]

UPDATE: I failed to go to school, as a stomachache followed. So let's continue on to step 5.


http://img03.deviantart.net/bcad/i/2010/244/0/b/yuyuko_eats_fried_mystia_by_zengo366-d2xt50z.jpg

5. Try to keep them away from food as much as possible.


I know, it's a plush, since I'm running out of pictures to use. If you live in the Philippines, ants would be our biggest concern besides the Moro Islamic Liberation Front in Mindanao or the pollution in our river systems. Food stains are ant magnets, and if that's not enough they'll probably expire after sticking on your figma for too long (except if it's honey), and thus it might start to smell bad and lure hungry insects. ABS can be waterproof but, as stated earlier, its paint is the one that's going to disappear if you dilute it in water like how dipping nachos in a bathtub full of molten cheese makes the nachos super soggy, just call me Swiss Cheese Calica.


http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6124/5996914614_1a5475a5b2.jpg

6. Don't push it in your ass.


No, really. Don't. It's your health that is concerned, and also the fact that the only best way to clean the sodding things are dry fabrics and electromagnetism, since shit or vaginal lubrication isn't magnetic, unless you're a robot.


http://i.ytimg.com/vi/uhHZRqsKA8s/maxresdefault.jpg

7. Put them in a box after use if you really don't want dust to get into them.


This helps only for people who are total pansies or bitches that really don't want their stuff to gain contact with the outside world's air since they think it's to best preserve them and make these things last forever, except they didn't know that PVC can only last for 140 years and ABS a mere 50 years, and since figmas are made of PVC and ABS, I would suggest a metal one instead (if that exists). Then again if you really want to keep them preserved and caged in like when I used to abuse a kitten by caging it in pieces of wood with rusty nails in them because I was fucking 4 years old at the time, I would highly suggest you don't open the box the moment you buy it, then after that you might end up selling them since you have no absolute use for the sodding things, thus being a total waste of time.


http://www.emedco.com/media/catalog/product/Loctite--495trade-Super-Bonderreg-Instant-Adhesive-CC486-ba.jpg

8. Glue broken parts together.


Pic slightly relevant. This totally helps if you're low on cash and happen to find a broken figma after years of use. Instead of, as stated earlier, being total pansies and/or bitches about what you bought, unless what you're holding is a Patek Philippe Calatrava that has a broken mainspring or escapement that needs new spare parts and lubrication, then I would suggest you fix the damn thing YOURSELVES, unless you're super rich or have compulsive hoarding disorder. The glue that I used is an instant adhesive called Cyanoacrilate. Just click here to know more about safety when using this sodding adhesive.


https://owenkenobi.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/20111112-greenhills-trip-03-greattoysonline.jpg

⑨. If all of the above didn't help, buy a new one.


Or don't. If your figma exploded into tiny shards of plastic the moment you picked it up with your index finger and thumb in the lightest touch possible (despite being made of tough plastics), you are probably Nathan Jones or Superman (or if you toss it around like a retard, then you're too young) and thus you are not destined to own one at all. If the cause of failure is because you unknowingly ruined it before you read this journal, I would suggest you do indeed buy a new one, if they're still being sold. You can shop in ebay, amazon, or, if you live in the Philippines, GreatToysOnline, where you can find a local retailer nearby and ask if they have the figure you're looking for.

Right, that finally settles it. Now I shall rest in pain and agony and play ROBLOX- I mean, sleep.
  • Mood: Uneasy
  • Listening to: Nightwish
  • Reading: Biggles of 266
  • Watching: The Fighting Devil Dogs
  • Playing: Gran Turismo
  • Eating: Chicken
  • Drinking: Decidedly monotous plain water
Tagged by :iconicebluu:
Rules:
1.) You must post these rules.
2.) Answer the 8 questions the person who tagged you made and make up your own 8 questions for the people you tag to answer.
3.) Choose ten people and put their icons on this journal.
4.) Go to their pages and inform them that they have been tagged if you want.
5.) You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
6.) No tag-backs. (Yes there will)
7.) Can't say "No Tags."
8.) Everyone that has been TAGGED must make a journal entry
9.) No answering questions with spam or nonsense!
10.) Be at least a BIT mature about things...
11.) Um... No nuts, no butts, no coconuts?



==Questions asked==


1. Which one do you prefer most? Anime or Cartoons.
Both, since I'm too busy watching historical documentaries about Ancient Rome, Switzerland and the entirety of Scandinavia.

2. What's your most preferred genre in music?
Everything as long as it does not involve love or Justin Bieber's voice.

3. Do you prefer reading or watching stuff?
Watching gives me a clearer view of what it is, but reading allows me to interpret it in my own views, therefore I could say that Armstrong from The Fourth Estate is a man the size of a fridge who so embodies bullet-headed French economic strength that he might as well have King Henry IV's face tattooed on his left buttock.

4. What is your favorite LN? <<Light Novel>> {If you have one.}
Katawa Shoujo.

5. Riddle Time: This is a thing that is devoured by all things; flowers, trees, beasts, birds; bites steel, gnaws iron; grinds hard stone to meal; beats mountain down, ruins town and slays king. What is it?
Air.

6. Who is your favorite character? {anything movies,anime,novels,etc.,etc.}
Kanaria, Hank J. Wimbleton, Faith Ackerman, Levi Ackerman, Rama/Yuda, BJ Blaskowicz, Booker DeWitt, Sarge, Tewi Inaba, Yukari Yakumo, Mamizou Futatsuiwa, Big Smoke, Ib, Aya Drevis, Madotsuki, Shiina Mashiro, Vespasian Flavius, Titus Flavius, Julius Caesar, Mark Antony, Pompey, Atago, Yuudachi, Yukikaze, Ushio, Kongou and her sisters, Zayats, Volk, Umka, King Alaric I, King Henry IV, Albert Fish, the list is too fucking big.

7. Do you think VR <<Virtual Reality>> could exist one day?
Yes it will, and it will wipe out humanity by one generation.

8. When playing MMORPGs do you play as a different gender? Pls tell me why.
I don't play MMORPGs, save for maybe Cosmic Break, where majority of the characters I can use are girls and the rest might as well be genderless.



==Questions I would ask you==

1. If God's all powerful, can he make a stone so heavy he cannot lift it?
2. if(ass==1) { print("Unyu!") } else { print("Ayayayayaya!")}. Now assuming that ass is 0, will this still work?
3. Let's say you woke up one day and you find out that you changed sex. How will you manage your new life as a boy/girl and what are you going to do with your manly/girly stuff that is now incompatible with your current gender?
4. Your green army men toys now claim your entire house as their territory, as they built outposts and forts around your whole damn house, plus your bedroom turned into their HQ. What do?
5.
Flandre Scarlet paid you a visit one day and you saw that your entire neighborhood is now rammed with blood and raining fire as the houses burn and gravely wounded people screaming in agony. Are you still going to let her into your home?
6. Are you going to listen to a 50 grand a year pension hunter or a billionaire, who even the president lets finger his wife?
7. Do you pee in the shower?
8. Are you willing to sleep for one night in the Pripyat Hospital's basement in Ukraine (naked and without any protection from ionizing radiation) to win 10 million dollars?




==Tagged==


:iconicebluu:
:iconle-engineer: (I got no one else to tag)
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: Nyaruko-san W OP
  • Reading: MLP: FiM sticker book
  • Watching: Kopps
  • Playing: Army Men: RTS
  • Eating: Corndog
  • Drinking: Even more plain water
Driven by religion, driven by insanity, driven by SOME GOD THAT JUST APPEARED INSIDE YOUR THOUGHTS, a bunch of random people (you might be included) start killing each other to win the aforesaid god's throne and claim it as your own. The problem is that there can be only one, and unless you are an antisocial loner who likes girls a lot less than cars or Romanian in-jokes (like me!) you can't bring your psychotic girlfriend with you and share the same seat like how I struggle to comfortably sit in a cramped jeepney during rush hours. So skipping this intro really quickly, Mirai Nikki is an anime about 12 random twats who had miserably simple lives that, after hearing from Deus that there's a game where people have to kill each other to become God and prevent some 2012 shit from happening (starring John Cusack), decide to do exactly that to save the world while taking off a bit of it with them.

Yuki's girlfriend is a psychotic cunt with pink hair who had murdered her own parents because she was grown in a cage as an experiment. In her rage, she killed both of them, kept their smelling corpses inside the cage she used to be in, and live alone in a rotting house whilst living on apples and raw pigeon meat and doing the monthly "beat the dead bodies of your parents with a lead pipe" event in remembrance of their fateful days. Yuki himself, however, is a giant pussy who prefers throwing darts at people and their diaries, electronic or not, and using his girlfriend to do all the killing for him because he's unable to hold a gun, aim at a mook, pull the trigger, and wait for magic. His father's death, despite being kind of cliche, drove him into becoming a backstabbing, middle-school terrorist, where he and his girlfriend become some of the youngest killer duos. What is this? Children Of The Corn? So anyways, other diary owners die mainly because their die... Aries were destroyed, some died because of die... Arrhea - actually, that guy with the huge eyeball for a head died because he was cut by an axe, and one of them, Minene, did not exactly die and instead turned into a demigod because she hates gods. I don't know Deus' logic but I'm sure as hell felt stupid afterwards.

So in the end, Yuno's secret is revealed, Deus of the second universe finds out and sends Minene to intervene, and I'M NOT GOING TO SPOIL THIS ANYMORE, OKAY? Afterwards Yuki gains the throne and lives alone happily ever after... Well, at least for me it'll be, since anyone who tries to bully me at this point would rather wear 20 diapers simultaneously and dip their heads in a bucket of cold piss as they shit themselves to the point that it grants them the power of flight.

Does the story hold up? Yes. It's unusual for a story to have a first kiss scene happen in the very beginning - hell, Wolfenstein: The New Order's sex scene occurred in an early point in the game instead of, you know, in the end. I'm looking at you, Katawa Shoujo! Anyways, the good thing about this is that there's no such thing as resurrecting some idiot from the dead to let the story continue on FOREVER and instead goes through the Bioshock Infinite way around that. Even though Yuki CAN resurrect his dead parents from their graves, it doesn't grant their souls (or personality, whatever the fuck) back into them and instead turns them into blank, retarded ciphers. This frustrated Yuno when she tried to bring Yuki back to life and it drove her into going to another universe where Yuki's alive just so she could play the game again. Hell, there'd be 711 Mur Murs if Yuno still couldn't convince Deus to create a second seat. In fact, THAT'S WHAT SHE SHOULD'VE DONE BEFORE IN THE FIRST UNIVERSE. Really, if God can break the rules, he should reform it so he'd finally get a girlfriend to fuck with instead of being a father who molds people out of his shit.

Animation's well done since the fight scenes are kind of good. I still hate the fact that there's no 9mm bullet shells on the ground after Yuki shot a bunch of cops that just killed Minene's boyfriend. My main problem would be the censorship part, because considering that anyone in the Mirai Nikki universe has to brutally murder at least 3 victims with a sharpened spoon before eating a sweet bowl of champorado for breakfast, there's no big reason to censor detached limbs. This is their fault - they signed it as Shōnen so they're stuck with an audience composed of children who screams for blood in every Tom and Jerry episode and thus they have to keep this brutality acceptable for the aforesaid audience. So this means that decapitation or amputation has to be censored by adding a piece of rubble or some blurry black dot, saving the animators from adding pieces of flesh flying around the room like in Grand Theft Auto, since decapitation only shrinks the head's size to the most minimum instead of flying in the air and being usable as a sort of melee weapon. If they think they'll get trouble if they don't censor scenes involving amputation, then Naoto Hosoda should go to Tamaulipas in Mexico where the Los Zetas rule the entire fucking state and decapitate heads and placing them in funny spots as a form of greeting to friendly tourists.

Soundtrack's pretty catchy. I would replace all the soundtracks of Nu Pogodi with the soundtracks of this anime and make the entire show 20 times better, and make the wolf and the hare talk in Japanese to make it 20 times more badass. Intro music's good initially and almost turned into shit in later parts, but I caught a glimpse of a watch movement in the beginning and almost jizzed my pants, where I thought "IN THE NAME OF AUDEMARS PIGUET IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!" until I realized that all I found is just a gear train and a bunch of pinions and wheels and barely any sign of a mainspring and no oscillator on sight. "I'm disappointed, Mirai Nikki!" I said, "I thought you would be one of the first animes (besides Rozen Maiden: Traumend) to have a certain knowledge about mechanical watchmaking!", "well we're not from Switzerland" says Mirai Nikki, "so we'll just continually be as ignorant as we can until someone laughs". The thing is, I can't laugh at ignorance unless it involves a Swedish cop in the middle of daydreaming and has the ability to catch bullets with his bare hands, mold it into a grenade, use his crotch pistol to kill two ninjas with guns, and proceed to kung fu the guy until he wakes up... Or is at least an anime that knows what it's doing.

So is Mirai Nikki good? Yes. Is it better than the Patek Philippe Ref. 5175? No. It's just that this anime is pretty much like a Hunger Games version of Ed, Edd & Eddy, except with a religious version of The Raid 2: Berandal's plot (with a little touch of James Cameron's Titanic)while adding heavy metal remixes of Saw's themes into it. But it's better than Rozen Maiden only because it ends right where it should, and not desperately try to continue living by making shitty sequels and finding a purpose to do such.

*cough* Assassin's Creed *cough*
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: Nyaruko-san W OP
  • Reading: MLP: FiM sticker book
  • Watching: Kopps
  • Playing: Army Men: RTS
  • Eating: Corndog
  • Drinking: Even more plain water

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GiromCalica's Profile Picture
GiromCalica
"Girom" Christian N. Calica
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Philippines


If you found me, congratulations. You must have come from YouTube or ROBLOX.

ROBLOX ACCOUNT: steathscope, EngagedUser, CrescentMare
Interests
War isn't as awesome as you think it is. It's as painful and as brutal as being circumcised through the use of a cheese grater without any anesthetic (if they're male; otherwise they'd be giving birth to a giant saguaro cactus). But what's awesome about war is the pros it gives to the common individual, since less people mean shorter lines for the movies, the bathroom, and pretty much everything else, and also the 10 o'clock news will show so much brutality and bloodshed that it makes Drive Angry look more like Dora the Explorer in comparison. But what certainly won't help is if you give war some rules, except it'll be safe enough for you to join in and try to decapitate your stupid next door neighbor with a bastard sword. Seriously, the Geneva convention should ban death in general so that it'll turn ISIS into a football club or something, whatever the fuck.

Dog Days is basically that. War has rules, and therefore you're not allowed to kill. Killing someone would be punishable by death, so the executor must be executed as well, and the cycle will repeat until no one else exists in this once-beautiful alternate dimension. Wait, that came out wrong. What Dog Days actually is is that there's this acrobatic dude named "Kitchen Sink" who is half-British half-Japanese, his video gamer friend, his cousin, and a lot of anthropomorphic animals with names that just made me so hungry for pastry all of a sudden... Be right back!

[INTERMISSION]

Alright, just ate a Hansel and am about to sleep, which means that there's another intermission right about... Now.

[INTERMISSION (again, goddammit)]

Just finished masturb- I mean, sleeping. So anyways, Dog Days takes place in two worlds - Earth, the place where a Kitchen Sink and his friends came from (and is barely shown in all three seasons), and some other Earth that I call "Harem Earth" because majority of the girls will fall in love with a Kitchen Sink since it came to their world as "their hero". I'll keep calling him Sink until it gets a laugh, you bastards! When he was about to leave for some place (probably London), a puppy with a dagger casts a pentacle on the ground and they both get sent to another world, where war is considered a sport instead of a solution for religious or political conflicts and thus the winning faction gets two-thirds of the prize and the rest have to share what is left like if you're 22 hours late for your birthday party and almost your entire cake has been consumed by your assholic friends. So anyways, Cinque (I spelled it properly this time!) was sent to this other Earth by a puppy named Millhiore Biscotti and... Dammit, I'm hungry again.

[INTERMISSION (really, dude?)]

ALRIGHT, MOVING ON! And because Cinque was told by everyone to be their new hero, as in their savior during times of last-ditch attempts to win a game, he decided to use his own powers by patting his enemies on the head and turn them into cute, fluffly balls of fur, like Yayan Ruhian in a future The Raid film because of his unusually fast hair growth. So Cinque teams up with Eclair, which was probably the same Eclair I regret buying from 7-11, to beat Leonmitchelli Galette Des Rois, AKA that pie with a crown, except it's a cat that wields a huge battle axe and a corset that barely covers her cleavage, and so they did, but at the cost of Eclair's clothes exploding because it touched Cinque's staff of doom. I don't get why their armor had to instantly degrade violently after getting hit by a very old and frail (and drunk) Irishman with a worn out shillelagh – I think it's basically designed to do that so the Defeat by Modesty trope starts glomping this anime until they both die falling 30 storeys below because they're in an apartment block in Indonesia.

I don't like an anime that tries to be funny by breaking the 4th wall unless it involves some Lovecraftian being that wants to be called "san" despite her ahoge and obvious stupidity and inability to resist the pain of forks. Hell, Tenshi loves pain much more than Jesus Christ or everyone in Kink.com who are currently in the middle of BDSM training, or both. But do the characters in Dog Days feel pain? Since they all have such overpowered super moves that can send giant mountains cartwheeling into Lake Geneva (especially Rolex HQ, because fuck Rolex), everyone should have been obliterated in the very first fight, but NO, their powers cannot kill and thus anything that isn't an animal or a human should turn into burning hot cinders. While it would be fun to actually kill people, it'd be even MORE fun to continually make fun of their weak status by continually gunning them down using a SIG (with a bottomless STANAG magazine) that you bought from another world and reverse-engineered in Gensokyo until they ragequit in frustration as tears roll down their stupid fat faces. So the concept of turning war into some sort of sport is a lot better than legalizing murder during wars, but then again that concept will cause overpopulation and thus lack of food, and lack of food means people will start making cannibalistic cults and it'll become like Doomsday all over again.

The characters are pretty well designed. It's nice to see people create a better medieval time than what it really was, where bathing is illegal according to early Christian laws or where water is crap and therefore beer is the ultimate alternative and thus creating the only kind of heaven my dad would enjoy. Cinque wears a robe that kings would wear and it resembles a retro-futuristic jacket for later Mirror's Edge games, Millhiore wears a corset and a dress with detached sleeves, so there's some armpit points for you there, Leonmitchelli wears a pair of denim shorts and a cape that makes Cesare Borgia jealous, and that one nerdy squirrel only wears a lab coat. I don't know how their technologies work since in the case of the artist making designs for machines, they barely do any scientific research to make it plausible. "But hey, it's just an anime, so who cares?" THE FUCKING MYTHBUSTERS. ALSO, ME. Then again, a world where anthropomorphic puppies, kittens and squirrels fight each other in a medieval war that is a sport could not be explained by science, so they would probably ignore that and instead rely on magic. Hell, they use magic-y science in fight scenes as well!

One thing worth noting is that the story's not too great and not too crap. I haven't finished the first season but finished the second entirely, mainly because I lost the files and can't be asked to download them again (illegally). But, judging with what limited knowledge about the anime I watched, all I can say is that this anime is okay with girls torturing the only few boys and call it "playful teasing", and this is probably the point where a lot of misogynists flood in and praise me as their new prophet, but no. The first few episodes were okay since the animators gave Cinque the chance to actually dodge Eclair's knife slashes once her clothes disintegrated like a malfunctioning Roman Candle, and I find later episodes to be funny, but I'm a little (okay, maybe a lot) pissed off at how Eclair simply can't submit to love and accept the fact that she is obviously cuddling the guy while he sleeps instead of punching him really hard in the abdomen until he ends up like Harry Houdini and keep denying like she believes that the power of denial can change the fabric of reality if you keep objecting hard enough.

Dog Days isn't that much of a great anime, but I do like it only when scenes were funny, but I can't think of reasons to watch it again since I felt kind of bored afterwards, as I can barely find any memorable scenes that are worth watching again. Hell, I think Bonifacio's armory raid scene is slightly more worth watching again even though the dramatic feeling disappears so quickly afterwards. So I'm giving Dog Days a mere 6 and a half shillelaghs out of ten. Watch it once, then forget all about it. Let it slip in and out of your mind like an image of your grandmother during sex. I'll go watch Nagi no Asukara and a bunch of other animes now while eating Oreo since I just ran out of things to review, maybe that Rin route from Katawa Shoujo next.
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: Nightwish
  • Reading: Eclair recipe
  • Watching: Bonifacio: Ang Unang Pangulo
  • Playing: Global Strike
  • Eating: Oreo
  • Drinking: Milk

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Comments


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:iconicebluu:
IceBluu Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha Girom I just found a good anime and it's name is touhou anime project xD (seriously)

It just released now as in now.
The day I commented this the anime got released with sub's xD
Reply
:icongiromcalica:
GiromCalica Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Bad news: You're FAR too late. I already watched the anime (The one with Yuuka Kazami?) and the (good) Japanese fandub. Should
Reply
:iconicebluu:
IceBluu Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
HAHAHA WHAT ANIME I:

I havent watched it yet. o/
Reply
:icongiromcalica:
GiromCalica Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
The Touhou fan anime you told me?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconicebluu:
IceBluu Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
DA fuk am I doin... The mobile DA is so hard to use S:
Reply
:iconicebluu:
IceBluu Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Yo  Girom about your mermaid

Its dead

ok bai
Reply
:icongiromcalica:
GiromCalica Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
... ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
Reply
:iconbluesnowangel24:
BlueSnowAngel24 Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Huehuehue

no
Reply
:icongiromcalica:
GiromCalica Featured By Owner May 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I can't remember if IceBluu and BlueSnowAngel24 is one and the same.
Reply
:iconicebluu:
IceBluu Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
HEH I forgot to do it :9
Reply
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